How many times ... ?

At WIMWI...

How many times have you promised to study more regularly once these exams got over ?
How many times have you wished you had studied before ? If only to appreciate the subject better ...
How many times have you made timetables and then forgotten all about it and had fun instead ?
How many times have you felt guilty afterwards ?
How many times have you liked a song so much that it keeps playing in your head while you are trying to appear for an exam ?
How many times have you fallen in love with someone you can't be with ?
How many times have you wished that you could become limmer ?
How many times have you wished that you could be somewhere else ... Anywhere but in the boring lecture at 8.45 in the morning ?
How many times have you wished you could be better at sports or at dancing ? ...
....And they said that life got easier once you got in here !!!

A Question of Faith

There is this itch... gnawing at us... this quiet restlessness...
This itch .... this insatiable feeling that life has more to it...
This irritating feeling that there is more to me than writing code or talking to clients...
This urge to make things happen...it gets difficult to live with Status Quo ...

Everyday, you will read stories in awe of IIM A students and Faculty diving into untested waters... Why do we do this ? ....
They say, sometimes the flapping of a butterfly's wings can create rainstorms halfway across the world..Sometimes, the things we do at IIM A scares us... but if we don't flap our wings, how will we move ahead ? ...

The placement sessions are starting...The eyes of the world ... students from every nook and corner of the country... the best talent of the country is watching us....
Everything that has meant anything finally culminates in these few hours of destiny....
and that is exactly how a nation of young students gets duped ... simply cos this is not the end...
this is the beginning....just a door.. a platform...an opportunity...
I know that there are debts to pay off...I understand that feeling of being left in the lurch..
The world is watching us...the media will slam us... HRD ministries will try to stifle us... but I know this- Falling down is not defeat, staying down is...I only have the rhetorics...not the answers...

In time, we will know who stood up... and who gave up... To the victor go the spoils....
Ultimately, all that separates those who stood out from others is their absolute faith in themselves..it is a question of faith and the power to ask yourself, when no one else is watching - "WHAT'S AHEAD ?"....

Return of the Son

The prodigal son returns...

Its been a long time since I wandered into these portals... There will be many who would have been a trifle upset had they bothered to read about my misadventures in the first place.. but the truth must be told... and so here i am.. with a new set of stories and foot-in-the-mouths...

The first things that students miss when they reach wimwi, is sleep... And no, it is not because we are studying all the time .. rather quite the contrary... we don't study when we are supposed to... we will soak up all the latest gossip on campus, discuss the current industry happenings threadbare for a couple of hours and finish a couple of episodes of Prison Break and finally we will hit the books.. obviously the stress levels are therefore high...
It is not for nothing that this place teaches us JIT- everything is always Just-in-time... assignments, reports , everything is given at the last possible minute... Each time, after every adventure, I solemnely promise - next time, I will put in a 24 hour buffer for my WAC report...
What is fascinating to watch is how those buffers wear down and are completely annihilated when faced with deadlines...

This strange thing happened with me the other day... We have study groups; six of us in one group and we work on the various assignements given by profs... one such assignment was the study of how technology changed the way banks do business...
We were called to present the finding of two of our group members...Often ,what happens in such situations is that one person has done the actual work and another is asked to present.. This can sometimes lead to hilarious situations...The essence is to last 5 mins that are allotted... This is what followed :
Groupie1 : We have analysed the way technology affects loans processes of banks... We take a typical case.. When we want a loan, we first go to the bank and they give us a form which we have to fill.. On this form, we have to give details such as our name, our father's name , our date of birth, our address...

By this time, the class realises what has happened.. They saw that we were only five of us.. We got locked in such a situation, where the guy who did the actual work was up so late working on the assignment that he ended up missing the class .. and since none of us had any idea of what to say, we had to resort to such filibustering tactics.. we would have gotten away with it too had the class not resorted to wild thumping and applauding groupie1's attempt to save us from disaster...
The Prof responds:
" I can guarantee you that all of us know what is there in a bank form, and we are not interested in knowing what you know... Could you tell please proceed ? "

Groupie1 : Ok, so once you have filled the form, you submit it to the loan officer and from there, the file and application is passed to a loan committee and this committee has to verify all the details filled in the form. They do this either by calling our references or by checking if we are bonafide students... They have other techniques as well...

At this point, the class goes beserk.... Groupie 1 tries his best to keep a straight face, the other two groupies have no idea what in the lord's name is going on.. and I am staring faraway, lost in space.. praying for the nightmare to get over ....

The third term has started.. This term is filled with group oriented activities.. essentially we focus on organisational aspects of a company, and its HR related issues..
At the same time, new traditions have been opened up to us.. There are have been elections for the Student Activity Council - this holds significance as this group of elected 12 guys will ensure our well-being for the next year.. from mess food to placements to movie stocks.. these 12 guys take on huge responsiblities next year...

I am ending with this conversation that happened last week..

Prof : So Rohit, are you awake ?
Rohit (dazed) : Yes sir..
Prof : Good, tell the class what you have learnt in our last class..
Rohit : Sir... in the last class, we studied production quanties and how they varied with costs..
Prof : How did we do that ?
Rohit : Sir, through ...uh... through curves..
Prof: Hmm.. what kind of curves.. ?
Rohit ( Makes gestures with his hands) : Sir, these curves would come down and then go up .. (he is trying to tell that the graph has a minima but ends up on a different plane)
Prof: Rohit, we understand your state of mind... maybe you could say "graphs" !!!
Rohit ( goes red) : Yes..urg.. sir..
Prof : So where did we get this data from ?
Rohit (silent and trembling a bit)
Prof : Rohit, answer...
Rohit (very very reluctanly and with an expression of knowing that doom is near) : Sir, we got these from the FIGURES...

Class goes wild and starts thumping the desks.. Profs looks incredulous and walks away...

Such are the adventures of life....

The Return- "Lehman(y) Snickets"

It has been a long time since I have written something here.. A lot has happened since then...
(Well..at least for Lehman (Bang)Bros and Merrill Lynched!!.. )

A lot of ink and time has gone in writing about and reading how the global scenarios have affected us at IIMA..and rightly so - an entire business function - Investment Banking is on the verge of obliteration!!..and companies in that field are huge recruiters of talent at WIMWI..
but it's all cool... this place wouldnt be what this place is, if a few companies going bust would affect it colossally...

What bugs me these days is this - I met a couple of students from other B schools.. A common friend introduced us.. He said - "Oh. meet these guys- They are IIM A " ( Mind it- not "these guys are from IIM A" but " these guys ARE IIM A" ) ..
and suddenly- the room is filled with EXPECTATIONS!!..it was as if I am expected to just open my mouth and suddenly all would be right with the world!!...

Wherever we go.. our brand precedes us ..we arrive - we are greeted with superhuman expectations... and you ought to see the disappointment on their faces when they discover that we are really normal human beings- replete with Foot-in-the-mouth tendencies AND a normal Sense of Humour..
(some of them were suprised that we could appreciate a good joke too!!) ..

The piss off is that we cant complete with superhuman expectations.. if we try - we get stuff like " What !!.. you guys ARE IIMA ..this fourier analysis on quantum generated business reports should be like a cakewalk for you!!" ... (yeah.. maybe we should even start running the RBI and the Fed !!)

And if we dont bother, we are labelled as arrogant suckers... Fantastic, na ?

Had gone to a local radio station... it was interesting to see how even a small radio station that caters to just a few lakhs takes its branding so seriously.. had an intense session on Branding, Consumer preferences and a lot of other stuff which I should have taken notes on... (not my fault- the RJ was hot !! )

Today- it was a special day - every class has its SLEEPER's CLub- it is an honour to be a member of this club- Members often take on tremendous risks and sleep off in the class..
Apart from risk taking, members need to be quick thinkers- We are often woken rudely out of our beautiful slumber and asked questions -difficult specific questions pertaining to the case we are studying at that point...
and mind you, the guy was asleep at that point.. so the chances that he had not even heard the question are pretty high...
This where the member's skill kicks in.. sample this -

Case 1
Prof: " A***, so do you think that Nirmal Rayons should double its capacity ? "
A*** (startled outta his brains) : " Uh... Sir.. this is ...uh ... IT DEPENDS !!!"
Prof : Good..Morning!!..join consultancy!!

Case 2
Prof : "R***, what is your opinion about the current situation of Smokey Valley ? "
R*** (Kicked into consciousness by his concerned neighbour) : " I...I ..think...uh..
Prof : "Hurry..I havent got whole day"
R*** : "Sir, I believe that Smokey Valley is in bad shape"
Prof: "Why? "
R*** : "Otherwise, we wouldnt be discussing this case!!"

The difference between a Sleeper Cell Member and a normal student at WIMWI is this-
Sleeper Cell Members are just a bit more smarter and often luckier if they are not caught!!...
Our President of the Sleeper Cell got caught THRICE in THREE lectures.. a first in the history of either WIMWI or Sleeper Cell!!!

..going over to his dorm for an emergency meeting !!.. We are selecting a new President!!

Vastrapur Main Vastra haran!!!- its that kind of a year

It's 1.19 am on the clock in the classroom… The last four days have been a whirlwind of activities... There are a few of us here, who haven’t gone to their rooms for over two days… a few of us have not had a morsel of food in the last 48 hours…. And right now after our last performance, I see my batchmates have to clean the classroom… (We will be penalized otherwise... hehe)…Yet, strangely, it doesn’t feel that bad…You need to see the look on some of their faces – there is a strange joy… I think – we are all a bit neurotic to devote our sleep, our food, our thoughts, and more importantly our holidays (Trust me – at IIMA, holidays are a luxury)… for what? … For some concept that was totally alien to us 4 days ago...- I present to you – T-Nites… and more importantly- T-Nites and Section B….. It is a love story – a love story that apparently has taken 20 years... B’s Saal Baad…

So what the hell is T-nites? … T-nites are basically a show put on by the first yearites... for the second yearites- Four days spread over intense competition, bizarre themes, crazy section names… and lot of fun…

This is what happens – We have four sections – A, B, C, D and there is the PGPX..section X… so we have 5 sections competeting for one coveted prize – The Talent Nite Trophy.. At WIMWI, everyone is good at writing exams, mugging stuff, doing everything acad oriented- but the thing at this place – highest respect is reserved for those who excel outside the classroom- for those who believe that life has something more to offer than just CG and marksI am section B... we named our section Bichoos... the others were - Absoluts, C'kanders, Danga Bol and Xtrados- for A,C,D and X sections..

The four days were really fun.. people say that section B ke bacche are 'give-up'... that is we dont even put in a fight..
I remember our senior telling us that
" Main yeh toh nahi bol sakta , ki jeetna kaisa lagta hai...
Lekin main yeh bol sakta hu , ki haarna kaisa lagta hai.."

And from that point onwards, it was like a few of us decided, that here was a chance to create history...it wasn't that the most talented class would win .. but it was more like - the most "enthu" wala class will win...

The four days were hectic.. I had to go to mumbai in between for the documents and certificates...
The day i came back - I found that we had done miserably- we started well on the first day.. then on the second day, I left ..and on the third day when i returned - i found we were last on day 2... and lot of us had started given up hope.. I think I perform really well when everyone around me is tense/depressed... so I was all super Enthu.. started motivating the people around me... was positive in terms of my body language.. was ok...you learn to find out who can work ..and those who can but won't..

End of day 3 - we were back in the game !! not that people around here would admit it ..but deep down i know that i was at least responsible for some of the winnings.. The next two days were high -profile and required a lot of class participation - there was a special CLASS ACT - wherein the points given to a class depended on the number of the students turning up in the class act.. it was fun..

Then there was a One act play - wherein we put up a play of the pandavas losing the game to kauravas... it was fun ...
there were some classic lines which were like
"Vastrapur main Vastra haran !!!"

Then.. Lord krishna comes to save Draupadi from the the saree unwrapping and finds draupadi is crying .. so Krishna asks
"Arre!! Main toh theek time pe aaya - 12 baje bola tha .. na !! "
and Draupadi says
"Kya Krishna- idhar 12 pm ki koi value nahi .. deadline toh 11.59.59 ki thi!!!"

the whole crowd went mad!!!

It went like for the last day... on the last day.. we had just exceeded everyone's expectations... tucchas would go like - "This is section B..? "

We are lucky that in our section ...we have had great characters - people who actually dont take themselves seriously.. and when it comes to the final analysis - the Juice was Worth the Squeeze..
....
P.S : It was B's saal ... and the day we won - India won its gold at Olympics.. i guess it's that kind of a year...

Naach Meri Jaan... NAMED !!!

For an institution, that been around for half a century, there are bound to be certain traditions...and certain rituals...
Ladies and Gentlemen... Welcome to the Dorm Name Culture...
the dorm name culture has been around for more than 4 decades.. Rest assured, that Harsha Bhogale, KV Kamath and so many others-all have been through this ritual...
Every single IIMA student is given a dorm name by his dorm mates.. This is a way of interacting with the seniors... and bonding with them.. simply because - from this day forth, till your last dying breath, you will have this dorm name with you... It is part and parcel of being a WIMWIan... so accept it...

So, how does one go about getting a dorm name... There are 24 dorms on campus.. all of have evolved their own dorm culture and dorm naming ceremonies.. Some dorms have a tradition where all the fachas put up a skit ... some dorms ask the the fachas to submit a 2 page report filled with original content.. The more saucy , the better... and some dorms have story telling sessions... So it is a mixed bag...

The trick is to get a decent dorm name... something your mom will not blush while addressing you with... I mean, no self-respecting girl would like to call her boyfriend as 'Dildo' or 'Brasak'...
But Alas... the sadist Tuchas that they are... will not let us live in peace...
Anyways... I had very high hopes of getting a decent name... ok!! I was not looking at being called "Jock", "Guru", "Nawab" ... ( would have been nice though)....
Anything that would not raise eyebrows ....
With such noble intentions , I went to the dorm meets... Through a series of interactions at these dorm meetings.. the name is concocted....

After cleansing myself of all my past sins, and taking a vow of allegiance to my dorm... I was given the proud name of "Mujra"....
(10 millions words in the universe... and I end up being called a brothel!!!... There goes my sex appeal...).. I can already see my future next year- An imaginary conversation with a hot fachi..
She says :"Hi.. I am a super hot girl in PGP1... "
I say : "Hi.. I am Mujra !!!" ....
(sigh......)

Quizzzzzed...

At IIMA, quizzes are an integral part of life... Every subject has quizzes... Well, you may think-" blah!!..what's the big deal ? " ... I personally feel the same way about it..
So, this is what happens.. Quizzes are never announced before hand. There are suprise quizzes..Right outside the mess, there is a notice board...
At precisely, 13.30, some kind soul will come to the notice board and put up the the following
"All PGP1 - Please note -there shall be a Maths/MANAC/any subject quiz scheduled today at 2.30 pm in the respective classrooms. Students are requested to be seated in their seats by 2.25 pm" ...

So, you will often find all fachas enter the mess with a feeling of anticipation, dread and hope...
The Tuchas, on the other hand, also enter with similar feelings - except the dread part..
They WANT the fachas to have quizzes... Of course, we fachas, can do quite well without them..

What follows in the mess , is quite an interesting sight.. once the quiz is declared ... the Tuchas do a little jig...and start screaming "Muggo Facho !! Muggo !!" ...
The fachas started banging their steel glasses and plates to drown out the chants...
This is the place where one can see synchronised cacophony in motion...

The quizzes suffer from a CAT hungover...lots of questions, very little time to solve and negative marking and relative grading.. what a perfect recipe for disaster..!!
Last year, there were a few quizzes, where not attempting a single question would have gotten one a C grade...!!! Thanks to the negative marking and relative grading..many students ended with a negative mark... thus, the guy who didnt know anything was better off !!!... Thats life ...

Eventually.. the quizzes start ruling our lives... I am ending this part with two quotes ..
" It is not the quiz which kills you.... It is the FEAR of the quiz that gets you... " -OralB (2008)
"Eventually, it is not a question of IF you will give up or not... but a question of WHEN you will give up ... " -Jhappi (2008)